Navigating Family Dynamics: Stay Grounded This Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is here—a time for gratitude, good food, and reconnecting with family. It’s a season filled with joy, but let’s be real: family dynamics can also be... a lot. Whether it’s that one relative who always brings up politics, the never-ending questions about your personal life, or just the sheer overwhelm of being around so many personalities, it’s easy to feel ungrounded.
The good news? You don’t have to lose yourself in the chaos. Here are my go-to grounding techniques—plus a personal story—to help you navigate family gatherings with grace, peace, and maybe even a little humor.
A Personal Note
I’ll never forget the Thanksgiving when I hosted for the first time. I wanted everything to be perfect—the food, the decorations, the vibe. I spent days planning and cooking. But by the time everyone arrived, I was so frazzled I could barely enjoy it. Between juggling last-minute kitchen crises and trying to keep conversations light (hello, passive-aggressive family commentary!), I hit a wall.
At one point, I locked myself in the bathroom, staring at the mirror, taking deep breaths to stop tears from spilling over. I remember thinking, Why am I doing this?
That moment changed how I approach family gatherings. It reminded me that I’m not responsible for making everyone happy, smoothing over tensions, or creating a "perfect" holiday. Instead, I started focusing on staying grounded and showing up as my best self—flaws, emotions, boundaries, and all.
These techniques I’m sharing? They’re ones I’ve practiced myself, and they’ve helped me stay present and actually enjoy these moments with family.
1. Breathe Before You Speak
Sometimes, a deep breath is all you need to pause and respond with calm instead of reacting out of frustration. Try this:
Inhale deeply for four counts.
Hold your breath for four counts.
Exhale slowly for six counts.
I’ve used this mid-conversation when someone asked, “So, when are you going to settle down?” (Cue all the feels.) Instead of snapping, I took a breath, smiled, and shifted the conversation.
2. Set Your Boundaries (and Stick to Them)
You are allowed to say no. Whether it’s skipping a heated discussion or stepping outside for some fresh air, boundaries are an act of self-care. Try a simple phrase like:
"I’d rather not get into that right now. How about we talk about [insert neutral topic]?"
"I’m going to grab some air for a moment. Be right back!"
After that first Thanksgiving hosting, I started setting clear boundaries with myself and my family. Now, I make sure to carve out a little "me time," even on busy days like Thanksgiving.
3. Find Your Ground (Literally)
If things start to feel overwhelming, connect with your physical body to bring yourself back to the present moment. Here’s a quick grounding exercise:
Place both feet flat on the ground.
Feel the support of the earth beneath you.
Slowly press your hands together or place one hand over your heart.
Take three slow, deep breaths.
One year, I escaped to the backyard for this. I stood barefoot on the grass (yes, even in November!) and just let the cool earth steady me. It was exactly what I needed to recharge before going back inside.
4. Focus on Gratitude
Even when family dynamics are tricky, there’s always something to be thankful for. Is it the delicious food? A funny memory someone shares? The way your favorite cousin always has your back?
One Thanksgiving, after a particularly tense conversation, I remember stepping outside to clear my head. My aunt followed me, handed me a cup of tea, and said, "Let’s focus on what’s good." We ended up laughing over old family stories, and that moment stuck with me. It reminded me that even during challenging gatherings, there are still small, beautiful moments to appreciate. Keeping a mental gratitude list can help anchor you in those moments of joy when things feel tough.
5. Have an Exit Strategy
This one’s key! If you start feeling drained, give yourself permission to step away. Take a walk, find a quiet corner to sit, or excuse yourself for an early night. Protecting your energy isn’t selfish—it’s necessary.
I’ve learned that it’s okay to say, “I need a moment.” Whether that means going outside for fresh air, sneaking into a quiet room, or even leaving early, honoring my own needs has made all the difference. Thanksgiving isn’t about pushing through discomfort—it’s about showing up as your best self, even if that means taking a break.
Family gatherings can be beautiful, messy, and everything in between. But with these grounding techniques—and a little compassion for yourself—you can navigate the day with more ease and even enjoy it.
Wishing you a Thanksgiving filled with love, laughter, and plenty of pie. And remember, you’ve got this! 🌿
What’s your go-to grounding tip for family gatherings? Share in the comments below!