Self-Care Practices

If you think self-care is all about candles and yoga, think again.

The idea of self-care gets a lot of consideration these days, it is such a buzz word. So many people still struggle to understand what it means and how to get enough of it. Today I wanted to share some of my go-to practices with you to help you get the most out of your self-caring life.

1.    Self-Talk.

I used to cringe at the thought of self-care because I thought I had to create more time to take a yoga class, needed more money for a massage, or needed more energy to exercise. And while that might have been true; I was missing the essential point about self-care. Self-care was a lifestyle choice, which included how I related to myself every moment of every day.

Because self-talk does a lot to shape our mood, our stress levels, and whether we feel overwhelmed or in control. I would have busy days at my corporate job and would experience anxiety and burnout, but then I started to re-think how I approached those days and I started engaging in the many strengths I brought into the world. I realized the choice was mine.

I was doing myself a disservice by overlooking this critical component of self-care. So, I started paying attention, and started chipping away at my own unique habits of unhelpful thinking; because I realized it was the most important and self-caring thing, I could do for myself.

2.   Distractions.

When people talk to me about what they do for self-care, most often they mention ways they distract themselves from their stressors. I used to distract myself and still sometimes do with things like binge-watching television, reading a book, or going to a movie. And while there is nothing wrong with any of these activities on occasion, when my emotions are running high or I’m feeling completely exhausted, the effort and emotional processing is sometimes too much. So, I will, and have, used distractions for self-care because they can be helpful.

But the problem was that I was using distractions to allow myself to check out, numb out, avoid, distract, or ignore my stressors. And when I let it go on for too long, I had a backlog of unprocessed thoughts and feelings that started to cause me stress and burnout. Once I realized what I was doing I stepped back and allowed myself to process some of the stressors and emotions so that I could enjoy those other moments in life without the burnout.  

3.   Emotionally Processing Experiences.

To balance out my favorite forms of distraction, I look for activities that help me process the experiences of my life. Self-care needs to involve time to think our way through our stressors and to feel the emotions that come with them.

Self-care means paying attention to our emotions and giving care and attention to them. Everyone is different, so what has helped me emotional process things might not help you, and vice-versa. Some of the activities that have helped me process my emotions are journaling, listening to music, dancing alone in my kitchen, and having a good cry.

When I think of self-care activities that will help me during a difficult time, I ask myself “Have I accessed my own thoughts and feelings, and do I have a somewhat better perspective, a sense of relief, or emotional release, after doing this activity?” If the answer is yes, then I know I have found the right activity for me and that moment to process my emotions.

4.   Physical Health.

People often think they need to add something new and dramatic to their lives. It can be easy to waste time and money getting massages, signing up for meditation classes, or trying new hobbies hoping to find something that excites us. While all these things can be part of self-care, do not overlook the simple daily routines that help maintain our physical health.

Since we need to eat, sleep, bathe, these are good places to improve self-care habits. I started to look at how I took care of myself on the simplest of ways, so I started asking myself what if I chose food that really nourished me? What if I changed my bedtime to help me sleep better? I started to take these little things and turn my daily routines into opportunities for self-care.

Because engaging in self-care is a way of signaling to myself that I matter in my own life. I do not need a lot of time, money, or exotic new activities to improve my self-care. By starting with my self-talk, taking care of my health, and achieving a better balance of distraction and emotional processing, I am on my way to living a truly self-caring life.